with Morgan O'Hara
If you want to do something big, stop asking for permission.
What am I pushing against?
The convergence of all the things/ too many things. I need to spend the time with each. Like 10,000 hours of time, for the French horn, costumes, make-up, film, text, the character, etc…
The way I’m working is good (letting things come out and explode) but I need to go through a narrowing process at some point as well. Think about the net.
So, what am I doing exactly?
Is it expression? Is that what this is about? Go to the end of everything. Explode first, then refine. If expression is my purpose, then push that too.
Talent is one thing, but what am I doing to do with it? What am I capable of?
Commitment doesn’t hold back. Some things that feel like a risk for me are totally not against the canon of crazy committed physically disruptive artists. Check out Rocio Bolivar, and Stelarc.. Comparatively, there are more intense approaches to performance, so what do I need to say/do/make and how?
The horn. There are lots of ways to sound an instrument. Explore taboos conceptually, then look at them with the instrument. Then push those taboos as well.
Art is transformative, that’s why we do it, and that’s why we don’t want to do it…
But you can only commit your life to something that’s transformative, it seems. If you’re working with your body, go the whole way with it – push the limits, then pull back. The body has its own limitations.
Look at Forsythe teaching videos, re: perception of movement. Is the perception of what you’re doing in a global space, or intimate space?
A: Why would an audience want to see any of this anyway? What’s my beef with the dance world?
M: Questions like this are good. Push against the art and/or dance world, and know why. Deal with the public aspect of it. Getting an MFA means I want to show somebody something. What is it I want to show why? Why isn’t it enough to just do it? Why do you have to promote it too? Talk to Kelly Kivland of Dia Foundation.
The character and the writing: do I have a Catholic background? Um, yes, but only nominally. But still, it’s in there. I’m inhabited by good girl shit: denial of sexuality, expression, resistance, maturity, to look clean and healthy, to handle every situation with grace… All to keep a person dominated. It’s still there in a deep way. It’s an anti-life force. There’s basic decency, but it doesn’t have to be such a package deal. It continually interferes with my behavior. Try to acknowledge its existence, and see it in myself before I can work with it.